The Irish Government has had a European High Court ruling overturned in their favour, making Ballybricken French a recognised language of the EU. The EU Supreme Court ruling will come into effect on 1st January 2014. Euro coins and notes bearing the emblem of the Bullpost will be produced by the Royal Dutch Mint from mid-2015. Local winos and smack heads will have their faces embossed on the 1c, 2c and 5c coins.

Waterford Mayor, Alderman S. Walk, in a press release, told of his joy at the outcome of this decision. “This is a ggeat victogy fog the pgoud people of Wategfogd. Ballybgicken Fgench, a mainstay language of oug nation, finally has the gecognition it desegves. No longeg will the dgead of oug histogical language being consigned to the dustbin of histogy hang oveg us.”

He went on, “I ggook foghwaghd to ough schooghls and thighd lghevel institutions pghopaghating this most ighllustghious of lghanghuaghes thghoughout the bghilliant young minds of the new geneghation of chilghdghen and to see it thghive, nay, sughvive the ghavaghes of decay and neghleght.”

He went on.

The Depagtment, I mean Department Of Education has issued tenders to local scholars of the language for the design and maintenance of a new, living curriculum centred on the ancient tongue. Nobody is expected to respond because native speakers are mostly all over 80 now. Or dead. There’s only D4 wannabes and fucking Tramore West shitheads left and they don’t even know it exists.

A special limited-edition of the coin set will be available early next year. The €2 coin will have a picture of Tawdy in a hi-vis jacket on the reverse. On his bench.