• About

Metazz

~ It's not Metal, it's not Jazz

Metazz

Tag Archives: class

Ladies, Drinking Wine Makes You Classy

13 Sunday Oct 2013

Posted by Alan Shanahan in science

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

class, classy, song, wine, women

Ladies, we’re happy to report some good news. Scientists at the Princeton Institute for the Study of Thirst (PIST) have completed their research on the effects of drinking wine in large quantities and often. It helps you to escape from the tedium of normal existence and hide temporarily in a fug-filled world of happiness and giggling. But there’s more – their research indicates that regular consumption of fermented grape juice elevates you at least one notch on the class ladder.

Hmmmm ... nice

That’s not the only good news, though. If you post regularly on Facebook that you drink lots of wine, especially those little pictures with regurgitated wisdom on them with phrases such as “I just rescued some wine … it was trapped in the bottle” or “I enjoy long walks … to my wine rack“, then your entire social circle gets to know just how classy you really are.

Round it off by adding pictures of you having just the most fun as a sloppy drunk, being picked up by your other drunk friends after a little fall, or helping them up in a comically clumsy way and everyone gets to see your sheer class shine on through. For an air of je ne sais quoi, add a photo of the table with some wine glasses – framed by a sunset if possible – to ensure the world knows that your dependency is complete and all-encompassing.

The science just works. Stay classy, ladies.
😉

Advertisement

It’s not big or clever

Sometimes serious, sometimes not. Work it out.

Archives

  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013

Recent Posts

  • Narcissistic Numbers, The Java Code Edition
  • You MUST accept our free service
  • I Love Narcissistic Numbers
  • Atheists Need To Leave Christmas Alone, Do They?
  • Understanding Evolution

Recent Comments

glennwestmore on I Love Narcissistic Numbe…
humanistfox on Understanding Evolution
Louis Barbe on I Love Narcissistic Numbe…
masondan on Are Men And Women Equal?
theirishatheist on Definitive Proof Of God’…

Categories

  • computing
  • crime
  • drums and drumming
  • finance
  • mathematics
  • politics
  • religion
  • science
  • telly
  • war

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Tags

acupuncunturist all nudey atheism atheist baldies ballybgicken ballybricken blackberries blackberry class classy delilah deluded deranged dragged the balls drumming drums existence existentialism Father O'Connor fun gender get rich quick god goolies inflatable hammer Jojo Jojo Mayer knife language laughing lazy Llangollen man mansion math mathematics maths men miley cyrus monotheism MTV narcissistic numbers number numbers P45 panties proof proof of god recreational mathematics religion scrap sex sexism sexist willies short hair sinead o'connor skinheads smug Dermot snot song suicidal sympathetic talentless The fucking journey theism twerping utter horseshit Wales waterford wine witless woman women xfactor

Archives

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Metazz
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Metazz
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...